Today's
Boston Globe (10/26/05) has a heartbreaking and informative section that tells
stories of soldiers who have died in Iraq, largely through the eyes of their families. Words, pictures, graphics and statistics round out the story: race, geographic distribution, service branch, where they died in Iraq.
The clear message that emerges is that the loved ones left behind feel that they are alone in their grief because the American community has moved on to other concerns; the "Mission Accomplished" message became an excuse for most of us to forget the sacrifices that are still being made.
The families interviewed by the Globe -- one from each New England state -- voice a range of feelings about the war: bewilderment, anger, acceptance, pride. But they agree that the public's growing antipathy for the war concerns them less than their sense that this conflict has become, for many of their neighbors and countrymen, an abstraction, its casualties obscured by worries closer to home -- the monster storms, the rising fuel prices, the exigencies of everyday life.
A war fought by volunteers in a strange, far-off place seems, they say, especially hard for the nation to keep in mind.
One mother says,
''The war is over as far as Bush is concerned," Boule said. ''We're just over there sustaining things. . . . People don't realize that there's still a war."
Magnetic yellow ribbons don't do much to comfort a grieving spouse, father, mother or child. The best thing I can think of, both to honor those who died and to provide a sense of community that might reach those who grieve for them, is to participate in one of the programs that send comfort and practical aid to soldiers who are still working and living in Iraq.
The program I know that is working to make connections between overseas service men and women and the national community back in the States is a non-profit called Any Soldier. At their web site, you can read an e-mail from a soldier or a supply officer, find out what they are lacking in the field (sample letters today list disposable shavers, lip balm, body soap, moisturizer, sweaters, under-armor t-shirts, ramen noodles, peanuts, book lights).
You can act on your own or together with a group from your church, school, Democratic caucus, peace organization or veterans' group. This doesn't have to be an overtly political act.
The kindest remembrance we can give to those soldiers who died is to do something good for the soldiers who are still doing the jobs they signed up to do and - perhaps equally important - establish common ground and outreach to their families who feel so isolated and forgotten in their grief.
On a personal note: I have a vivid memory of sitting in my 7th Grade English class, listening to the teacher tell us about her son's experiences as a prisoner of war in Vietnam a few years earlier, and what she had done while waiting and praying for his safe homecoming. Now I am training to be a 7th Grade teacher of English. Time for me to put some action behind that memory.